Tata and I

“Tata”, that was Santdosh’s first word. Every time` he run to Appa with his big beautiful smile, I question myself with envy, was my relationship with Tata like that? Was it so deep, so loved, so beautiful?

 For all that knows him, there is never a days that went by without morning prayers and endless Thevaram songs. My favorite was “Ragubathi Raja Ram!” For a long time I thought it was Tata’s song, until the day I saw the movie Gandhi, and everything else made sense. Nevertheless, it’s always has been Tata’s song.  By the time he finished, we children will be exhausted, starving running for breakfast; kampong coffee with dried bread or cream crackers.

When Tata rode his bicycle, I will tag along, sitting behind, holding him tight and swinging my legs. At one time, my anklet got caught in his bicycle tire, and my bled. But even today when I look at the scar, it’s not the pain that comes to my mind, but the pleasure riding the bike with Tata. 

 Tata was handy man. All the gadgets in the house were of the Ragaven Brand; beautiful, unique, one of kind and of limited edition.  His skills were amazing and his brains, timeless! Till the day I went to school, I was Tata’s little helper. It was a tough job. Sometimes, I picked up all the cut pieces, at other times I helped him hold the plank while he sawed, and then there are times when I sat on it making sure, the pressure was just right for him to cut the wood. When he hurt himself and there was blood everywhere I scream and cried for him. No doctors were needed then; just hand full of turmeric to stop the bleeding and life goes on.

 When the sun went down, and day comes to end, Tata and I would be sitting on top of the kitchen cabinet eating fried salted fish. Every day there will be a different tale.  At times, it funny and at times it was sad, but every now and then he will pause and ask  Amma “Where did I stop?”, just to check if she was listening to his ramblings.  Even today, every now and then, I would sit on the kitchen cabinet, eating, talking with Amma, with the memory of Tata fresh in my mind.

 Then, everything changed. Appa was given a quarters in Brickfield and we moved.  Years went on, when life seems tougher, when relationship becomes questionable; one person who stood by us all the time was Tata. For every step that we took, for every achievement that we made, for every success, for every joy, he was there feeling so proud.   

 Patient, endurance and time paid off. Egos were left behind, past was forgotten, the children grew up, and they grew older and wiser. Every time Appa visited Tata, he asks about me, and I on him. Just when everything was falling into place, she said goodbye, leaving everyone clueless.  To moan and miss her, or to weep and fear for Tata vulnerable emotion.

Patti did not even give much time to adjust, in just 3 months, Tata was hospitalized.  Never thought where would come a time where my strong Tata whose medicine is mere turmeric, would be needing oxygen to survive. It was agonizing. On 25^th July 2012, he decided it was time to say goodbye and reunite with Patti.

 It is almost a week since Appa has been apart from Santdosh.  When Akka finally came for a visit, Santdosh came running calling “Tata”. Appa cuddled him with love. It was so beautiful; it created a sense of envy within me. I don’t have a Tata to run to anymore, I miss him dearly.

Notes:

Tata: Grandfather
Patti: Grandmother
Amma: Mother
Appa: Father
Akka: Sister
Kampong: Village
Thevaram: spiritual songs