Inner Voice in Action!

Being attached to MOF Inc Division which handled tons of privatizing project, almost everyone form my department will attend meeting at Economic Planing Unit (EPU) almost everyday, morning and afternoon, 5 times a week. I just had one on Tuesday (18.11.08) and was requested by my boss to attend another meeting the following day, which at that point I didn’t realize it was located at Lembaga Lebuhraya(LLM) and not EPU.

As usual, I took everything so light and cool and went on with my daily routine. Since, the meeting was only schedule at 2.30 p.m and it only takes me only 10 minutes to get there, I took my nap. Anyway, I usually dont sleep only shut my eyes to rest. Hence, never once set an alarm clock. But I will make sure I wake up every 5-10 minutes.

Deng..deng deng, luck was not on my side today, and I slept through and only woke up at 2 pm. Panicked, I quickly rushed to grab my bag to see the venue of the meeting. Deng, deng, deng, deng, instead of the usual Blob B, there was suddenly Bilik Mesyuarat Bunga Raya? I got shock looking at unfamiliar room so looked at the second line to see Lembaga Lebuhraya, and the third line which states, Kajang-Serdang Highway!

I got more panicked; so panicked my brain froze and stops functioning. The only words that went through my head over and over for the first five minutes is “OH MY GOD!” I could do nothing and started fidgeting with the papers on the desk.

Somehow, the evil part of me was in action and it gave me various way to lie (which I really don’t know how in first place?). Among the most deprived option that I came up with were:

1. Didn’t know the meeting was in LLM and went to Ministy of Work at KL;
2. Didn't know the meeting was at LLM so went to EPU and was late;
3. I didn’t know the road, got lost and headed back home;
4. Tell sick and go home;
5. Tell car spoiled and go home;or
6. Just go home and get input from EPU to inform her next morning.

As I said, all option was just awful and was not satisfactory to miss out one of the most important meeting for the most important project. Luckily, there was this voice within me kept on saying, “what ever it is just leave the office, now!” I did exactly so.

It was then already 215, and I was driving out of the building. The voice within me spoke again, “Why not take the other road! May be you might just pass by Lembaga Lebuh Raya on the way and just get in. No harm trying.” So instead of the usual way back home, I took the long way to get to the highway.

I got lost twice and finally when I reached the highway, I reached a message from my assistant Sheema stating that, my boss will not be attending meeting with Secretary General and will join me in a while!”

Damn! I curse my self over and over. Why does when disaster strikes, it always doesn’t stop at one! So now by hook or crook, no matter how late it is I must attend the meeting. So I drove, by passing the hotels, then came MARDI and then instead of LLM there was Hospital Serdang? Yah, that where I realized i took the wrong road. I have seen the LLM building somewhere but not sure exactly where. So I just simply drove forward till I saw the sign Kajang and my inner voice spoke once again, ‘go further up, you might be lucky”. So I did exactly that and besides, if I do miss LLM, I can always head back home using that way!

Deng, deng, deng, deng, just after less then 3 minutes drive; I saw big sign board saying LLM u turn! At that movement the green sign board felt like some flashy neon light sign board (like on tv) that literary say, “you are here!” Yet, I managed to miss the u turn and two other turning before reaching the opposite site of the road where the LLM situated.

I was glad to finally be there even though I was very late. I quickly got down but not knowing which of the 3 block was the Bunga Raya Meeting Room situated. Luckily there was there two staffs that heading to the same place and offered to send me right to the door step. I peeped inside to see almost everyone was there. So I took deep breath, opened the door and thanked lord for that inner voice that had lead me to the meeting room as I saw my boss sitting in front of me giving me her big smile.

‘Are you from Bank ?’ the chairman asked. “No she is with me”, my boss answered. I smiled and took my seat and thank god over and over for the next 2 and ½ hours till the meeting ended.

Sigh! The whole incident was like cartoon! It was after a longtime time did I saw my self smiling and smiling and smiling till I drive back home. What a bizarre incident! Never in my life I imagined I would have both the devil and angel talking like on TV.

Anyhow, I am glad god is there within me! I am also glad that I read Elizabeth Gilbert book – ‘eats pray love’ to realize that.

Notes:

Bilik Msyuarat -meeting room
Bunga raya- hibiscus flower
Lembaga Lebuh Raya – Highway Authority
MARDI- Malaysian Research and Development Institute

Is the bottle half empty or full?

The law of attraction says that when we think positive, the universal attracts positive thoughts. But in my case after a year long of having good time, just as I predicted I had a rough bad one year. Nothing good attracted to my direction. (refer my previous entry on PUre luCK! )

Just as I mentioned in the “Interview with the Novice”, god always answers one’s prayers through the medium one will unlikely to think off. In my case, he indeed did. But that was not enough. I wanted more. I wanted assurance that my actions and thoughts were indeed right in his eyes. But up till today, I had absolute no sign form him except for those soft whispers in my ears.

So I waited and waited and waited, there was absolute nothing. Not a single sound of temple bell, birds chirping, rainbows or dreams as i had before (refer mt previous entry on Mysterious Rainbow ). And then today, as I was driving to work, I was questioning him again both in sorrow and anger, suddenly I heard a faint whispers at my ear, “Footprint”. I was stunt for a moment but then suddenly the verse of footprint came running to my head.

“You promised me Lord,that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?

The Lord replied, the years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you”

I smiled. My prayers were finally answered. Was it for real, I questioned myself? And just as my car was moving, turning at the corner of the UNITEN road, the bell of the temple below that had been silent for a year long suddenly rang, not once but twice. I then smiled for the second time.



The sign didn’t stop there. As I logged on to my face book, the first thing I see is a cute smiley and invitation to join the “become fan of smiley”.

Moment later I read the exact word that I shouldn’t be reading but needing to be heard “ some people deserve to be hated and not to be regretted... so no regrets and stay happy always..”. And that was my official fourth smile for the day!

I guess, life is full of mystery. When you least expect something in life, it comes to you in the form of hope. One has to just wait and listen. The law of attraction is amazing!

The interview with the Novice

Both Suet and I was curious with the life style of the monks and the novices in Lao. Thus, we wanted to get hold of them to get answers. Luckily our prayers was answered through a friend we meet, Rei who some how she had connection with a monk from the temple opposite our guest house just by giving out the alms. The closer they were, the more curious we were.

Unfortunately, she had booked her bus ticket to QudoXai and left the next day. So we went with Plan B, get hold of him in his place. So we practically walked in and out the temple 7 times but failed. Even went to monk school to get hold of novices but they were too shy or spoke very little English. So with no more option left, we went for Plan C, find someone from the temple and get some straight answers.

Lucky us, we found one, Poh chai. However, he was so shy, it took him practically 30-40 minutes to approach us, after walking up and down and pretending to read ahem French book which we thought was bible in the first place.

He was a sweet innocent novice that new a lot but did not know how to convey to us. Getting bored with his smile, we were finally glad when our friend Oley approached us. A boy of 18, from Vientiane with the hope of becoming a monk.


I can barely remember the sequence of the question we had approached him, but the answers were truly from him. I have rearranged according to little topic to make it more understandable.

Monks, Novices, Monastery and Buddhism

Shuba and Suet: What is Novice? What’s the difference between Novice and Monk.

Oley: Novice is the beginner.

Shuba and Suet : So at what age you become novice and what age you become monk?

Oley: People become novice at age of 12 and monk only after 18.

Shuba: Did you come here by your self or your parents sent you here?

Oley: When I was 12, I choose, as I know.

Shuba and Suet: How can you decide at young age? When I was 12, I don’t know anything. When can you not be monk? Can you leave anytime?

Oley: Yes we can leave anytime..

Shuba: Does all novices become a monk? Do you want to become monk?

Oley: He thought for a while may be..a while later.. I will leave at the age of 40 and get married.

Suet : 40, no body wants you then as you got no money. Better leave now when you are young.

Oley: No I am happy here. I don’t like money.

Shuba: I don’t like money too. Money doesn’t give you happiness.

Oley: Yes money is not happy. So what makes you happy?

Shuba: God makes me happy.

Oley: You pray for statute? Have you seen god.
Shuba: No I have not seen god

Oley: So how you know there is god when you never seen one.

Shuba: Its all about believe. I believe in god. Don’t you believe in god?

Oley: No I believe in my self. Only my self can give me happiness.

Shuba: I was stunt and enquired further more. So you are a novice and you learn Buddhism but you don’t believe Buddha as god. So what are you doing here?

Oley: Buddha is not my god. He is just teacher.

Shuba: I am surprise that you said that. Its doest make sense at all. You a novice but don’t believe in god.

Oley: I believe in my self, but i follow Buddha’s way.

Shuba: I believe in god. When I am sad, I go to him and cry and I will get my answers.

Oley: He can’t talk to you how you get answers?

Shuba: He talks through other people. I always get my answer.

Oley: Why you sad? Because your boy friend.

Shuba: Not boy friend. I am single or I won’t be traveling alone with her. Many things. Sometimes work, things etc,

Oley: Do you travel many place.

Shuba: Not many place. I have traveled in Malaysia and Cambodia. Now here and planning to go to Vietnam next. Do you like to travel? Where would you go?

Oley: India. I want to see the holly river and bathe.

Shuba: India, I am surprised. You are in monastery, but don’t believe Buddha as god and now you want to bathe in Ganges river. I can not understand.

Oley: You tell the same thing. Have you been there? Don’t you want to go there? Where would you like to go?

Shuba: No I have no money. My dream places it to go Italy and then Tibet/Nepal to see Dalai Lama.

Suet: I want to go India to learn dance.

Oley: Why you want to see Dalai lama.

Shuba: Because he is intelligent and he has answer to many things.

Oley: How you know he is intelligent.

Shuba: I believe he is intelligent. He knows many thing and talks different language. Don’t you want to meet him?

Oley: He nodded.

Suet : so you only have one cloth. If wash what you wear?

Oley: He blushed and giggled with his friend but refuse to answer.

Suet : So what you wear? Like nun don’t wear bra so you wear what inside?

Shuba: Please Suet stop being a pervert. Poor boy!

Oley: I am not boy. I am man.

Suet: So what you wear inside, underwear?

Oley: He blushed and again and said something to his friend. We don’t wear anything…ha ha ha ha

Suet: Can monk or novices touch women. If I touch you, will I go to hell?

Oley: No we can’t touch women. He blushed and giggled with his friend.

Suet : So if I accidentally touch you , do you come back and pray asking forgiveness..

Oley: No, if accidentally touch its ok..

Suet : So if I touch him (another novice) now, its ok…I don’t go to hell..

Oley: No accidentally is ok. No need ..you can touch me…ha ha ha ha …. you like to teased me…. Ha ha ha

Oley: Where is you friend?

Shuba: Which friend ( I asked, pretending not to know?)

Oley: Japanese friend?

Shuba: I thought she was your friend. Aren’t you supposed to know?

Oley: No body likes me. You are my friend.. He said and giggled

Another novice: But somebody likes a novice. He said and giggled. And we all giggled.

Shuba and Suet: Yes, likes one novice. We know. We all giggled.

Suet : So, what do you have in your room? Do you all share one room.

Oley: No, we have many rooms. We have fan and bed.

Shuba and Suet: Do you have television?

Oley: No we don’t have.

Suet : Don’t you get bored, just sitting doing nothing. Don’t you want to see the world, drink Lao beer and be friend with people

Oley: No I am happy with my life. I don’t feel bored.


Suet: i drink, i smoke do i go to hell or heaven?

Oley: He smiled, hell...

Suet: So people of Lao drink beer and smoke, they go hell too?

Oley: Noo...he smiled..

Food and Vegetarianism

Shuba: Why does Buddhist specially the monks eat meat when the Buddha says to sins to make others suffer and kill animal. So by consuming meat, does it mean that the monks and novices go to hell?

Oley: No, the monks and novices does not sin as they only consume food prepared by the people. Hence, monks does not cook only eat alms.

Shuba and Suet : So does that mean that people who kill chicken goes to hell and will have chicken head in their judgment day? And by making the people cook, does that mean its double sins for monks and novices and they goes to hell?

Oley: No, they will not have chicken head nor the monks goes to hell as they will say prayers before scarifies!

Shuba and Suet: Surprised and stunts such things exits!!

Suet : Since I drink and smoke do I go to hell?

Oley: Yes, he said with smile.

Suet ; Does that mean people of Lao will go to hell too?

Oley: He just smiled! And his usual answer May be!

Shuba: So I can give anything during the alms session besides sticky rice and fruits!

Oley: He nodded

Shuba: So if I give baguette, its nothing wrong?

Oley: Yes, you can. Sometimes, when I have money I will go to bakery.

Alms session!

Shuba: I heard that the government forced you to get up every morning to get alms from people.

Oley: No, the government did not force us. It’s our routine. We do that everyday.

Shuba: Are you happy doing that. I heard a saying form Cambodia, “Happy Monk” but I don’t see any here. You all look sad and hardly smile when I smile.

Oley: No we are happy doing that. We are just shy monks and novice. And he blushed along with his another novice that came to eaves drop our conversation.

Shuba: Do you eat only sticky rice and food given during that session. As I see people bring Tiffin to the monastery.

Oley: Yah, the sticky rice and food given by other people

Shuba: If I cook and give, would you eat that.

Oley: Yes, but you wont be around tomorrow!

Shuba: I smiled. I heard that you only eat twice and day. Is that true? What time do you eat?

Oley: Yes we only eat two times a day. Morning after our alms session and at about 12 after our school.

Shuba: Do you sit and eat together and share your food.

Oley: Yes we do but most of the time I only eat one time a day!

Suet: Why, won’t you get hungry? Dont you want to join your friend and eat!

Oley: No I am fat! And I am not hungry!

School and etc:

Suet : What do you have inside you bags. Can we see inside!

Oley: No. He then peeked inside and showed us just the parcel form America.

Suet: Why don’t you show us.

Oley: He just smiled and clutched his bag tight!

Shuba: Why do the monks and novices has different color bags! Does it mean anything!

Oley: No we just have different type of bag. Any color ok.

Shuba: Is there only one monks school here and who teachers you. Are they monks too?

Oley: Yes only one school here.. No we have two teachers. Monk teachers and general teachers.

Shuba: Can you have lady teacher? She wants to teach here!

Oley: He smiled. No only man teacher.

Suet : How do they get appointed? How much they get paid.

Oley: The government selects them. We don’t know!

Suet : When you finish high school, can you teach the younger one. When I finish high school I teach the younger one?

Oley: You teacher? What you teach.

Suet : I teach English.

Oley: You teach for free?

Suet : No they pay me money. Part time job.

Oley: I will teach for free. I don’t want money. I don’t like to be rich. I want to give to people. Some people are selfish.

Shuba: I think I am selfish. I don’t give much.

Oley: Why you say that.

Shuba: Because I have money and I use to travel when I can give to poor!

Suet : If I have a lot I will give too. But I haven’t much.

Shuba: So what subject do you take in school? You study Buddhism?

Oley: No we study normal subject like in school. I study Loa, chemistry, biology history, mathematic and geography.

Shuba and Suet : So why did you come back home early. Your school only finishes at 12.30!

Oley: No I don’t like mathematic. So I come back.

Shuba and Suet : Since you are novice, can teacher scold you or punished you.

Oley: No they don’t scold.

Shuba: So you get all a’s and they pass you because you novice.

Oley: No they don’t scold. They give extra homework.

Shuba: What subjects do you like most?

Oley: English. I learn from college form tour guide.

Shuba and Suet : Who pay for you education? The government pays for you or the monastery pay for you?

Oley: No our parents pay for us.

Shuba: Can you go to university.

Oley: No there are rules. The university doesn’t let us go to university.

Shuba: Since you take science subject, do you want to become doctor?

Oley: May be! And a while later he answered: I want to become monk. Poh chai (another novice we talked earlier) wants to become accountant. He wants to have his hotel.

Shuba: you?

Oley: I don’t know. May be!!

The School:

The novices to School:

Wonder what he is hidding inside there ???

Young novices with colourful bags: red, bule, green and even pink...

Novices at their fun time, playing drum..

Conclusion:

They whole conversation lasted for two hours. What we saw and what we heard was totally different. We indeed realized that some answers wer not genuine. Not because he was lying to us, but I guess it was his ignorance. May be the abbot way of teaching had influence with them dearly. But one thing was sure, they are uncertain with their life and decision. They have all been programmed to say that they will be monk at the age of 18, but it clearly shows that they are not sure with their life.

Later on that day, we meet another local and enquired about the monk, novices and monastery. We finally got the answers we were looking for. The reason behind the monastery was to the easiest way for poor to get education. Many were there because the parents force them to live such life. Nevertheless, not all came from poor family.

But to me I feel that, the whole monastery system is like military school. Its like survival camp where kids go through discipline and learn life with the hard way. Living modest, sharing and the same time have faith in god. But I guess, based on Oley ‘s question, it does help so much, when students from monastery realizes that he need to believe in his self and not god! Does it mean that people from Lao has finally awaken from the old school of thought? We have yet to discover. I would very much like to find out and I hope to get my answers through my friend Rei someday.

The American has finally spoken!!!

Just a month ago I read the most awesome talked about book on earth, To kill A Moking Bird by Harper Lee. It turned out to be the most amazing story that I have read. A story involving racial injustice, about a black man in 1939, accused for the crime that he has not committed and was punished even though the trial favored him.

Today after 60 years of struggling for equality, one man has opened the eyes of America. The American has stepped out of the box by electing their very first black president. Who would have imagined a black man as the president of the States.

Today, I feel so proud with the Americans for voicing out what they believe. Its truly nice to see when voice of the public is heard loud and clear. I do believe that, with Mr. Obama in the picture, there would be new revolution in the world. I hope, all war will end soon, the world economic crisis will be dissolved and all will be united as one. Even though its the Greek that introduce democracy, but its the people of united states that have truly lived it. Long live Mr. Obama!!!